I hate when my dreams...are dreams...

I just parked my car at work. I had to get my thoughts down before they escape. Yesterday I told my new boss "my story." I was ok with it all. I talked and didn't cry...I made it out of the conversation with out a tear shed. I'm fact I was rather proud of myself. I remember thinking during the conversation "wow look at you...talking about your son without crying! Way to go Wendy!!"

I had forgotten about my dream from last night until just moments ago. I suppose it was the effect to the cause (talking about my pregnancy.) I dreamt of being pregnant and feeling the baby move. The baby was only as big as Dallas was when he died. So tiny. Tyler was excited. I seemed to be too. Clearly this was only a dream because in reality, me and Ty would have been frightened. Not to mention the celibacy that we are practicing until we get married.

We desperately want children. We have a teenager and he really is the light in our hearts. We want to be able to share our love with more kids someday.

I can only hope that is God's plan for us. Until it is revealed we will continue to just trust that He will lead us where it is He wants us to go.

Happy Birthday Nathan

Two years ago we welcomed you into this world with heavy hearts and a lot of sorrow because we knew that your stay here with us would be brief.  Never had we imagined that we would be celebrating your birthday without you.  You have plenty of more family where you are, and you have Jesus.  I can imagine the party that you are having...it must be awesome!  Rest in Peace little one.  Aunt Wendy loves you.  (give Dallas a big hug from me too would ya)