The yearning is strong, so strong it saddens me.

Well here I am sitting at home listening to my son do the dishes and my husband bang around in the basement cleaning what I can only assume to be dog droppings.  Exciting, I know. 

I have been feeling that yearning again.  The wish, the want, the dreams of having a baby of our own.  I have Tanner.  And please do not misunderstand me here, that child is the LIGHT of my life.  I adore him and I would go to the ends of the world to and for him.  He is by far my greatest accomplishment in life.  When I say a baby of our own I am not in any way meaning to minimize Tanner.  He is a bright, talented teenager.  Not quite a baby, although my baby...he is almost a man.  Sad. 
I have a very strong yearning for a wee one.  I always have and the older I get the stronger the feeling gets.  It brings me to tears to think about how I may never get to experience that joy again.  And as an adult.  I look at baby pictures of my son and nieces and nephews and it makes me so sad.  I miss those days.
I want them back.

I wish I had the innocence of knowing I could get pregnant and not have to endure a painful loss.  I wish I could be like everyone else, get pregnant...have a healthy pregnancy, have all of the joys of planning for tomorrow, and delivering a healthy baby.  Going home with a newborn. 

I wish.

I dream.
I hope.

Someday...Maybe.