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Saturday, June 23, 2012

Weeks approaching are overwhelming me...

Well it is official.  One week from today will be the baby food drive and two weeks from today is going to be the one year anniversary to Dallas' birth.  I am doing ok, surprisingly.  Ask me as we get closer to the date and I may give you an entirely different answer.  For now, I am good.  I am trying to focus all of my energy on the food drive.  We have collected quite a bit so far, and I anticipate to collect much more.  I am excited to see just how big I can get this to be.  This is God's plan, my journey, and Dallas' Mission.  I get to be the voice for Dallas. 

If you would have told me a year ago that the child that I was carrying and working so hard to save was not going to make it and instead of celebrating a birthday I would be holding a city wide food drive in his name to give God glory, I would have said you are crazy.   Yet here I am, funny how things work out sometimes.

A year ago I was frantically doing any and everything within my power to save my child's life and give him the weeks within my womb that he desperately needed to thrive.  At this point, I was on a strictly fluid diet.  Being half way through your pregnancy, having cravings, and not being able to eat was awful.  Not to mention I was also suffering severe and daily gallbladder attacks.  I was miserable but I did everything I had to so that my child would have a fighting chance.  He fought for as long as he could.  Reminiscing is bittersweet.  Bitter because I remember the pain I endured as if it were yesterday and sweet because I also remember the joy, excitement, and hope that Dallas brought into our lives.  He changed us.  In many ways.

I am moving forward, baby steps.  I am determined to NOT let this destroy me.  I am determined to allow God to be my master.  He leads.  I follow.  I am excited to see what the future holds for my family...and as long as we do it together, nothing else matters.  Today, so far, has been a good day. 

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