Speak Light.

You know what I love. God. He always continues to speak to my heart when I need it the most. I have been having this “poor me” fit lately. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I have friends…and GOOD ones at that…but I have just been really lonely with Tanner being gone that I have been letting the enemy convince me that I am a bad person and no one likes me which is why I spend so much time alone. Last week at work, I ate lunch alone every single day. The people on my team made other plans and did not include me…so I pretty much felt like… “Well they don’t like me…not sure why, but it’s clear that they don’t” Then I get home and Tyler is angry with me all of the time. Maybe not all of the time but it feels like it. And I have a teenager who thinks I’m too old to hang out with….siblings who choose to do things together and exclude me, my mom never has time to visit….the list goes on. Honestly, again…poor me. Spending so much time alone should be a good time for me to do some self reflection but instead I have been beating myself up. Instead of circumstances preventing people from socializing with me, my mind has gone to…”I am just not good enough” Which I know is bologna. As Christians we are guaranteed to be persecuted for our beliefs…but also…if we are speaking light and showing love…it should be easier for people to return the love. Today, I was praying on my way to work today and I had one of those amazing God Winks… I asked God to help me be more liked because clearly I am doing something wrong…when it hit me. Is that what is wrong with me? Am I not loving enough? Do I judge, condemn, act self righteous? Yes, Yes, and all of the above. So even in my greatest attempt to be loving, I am still judging. I know that I am because it happens in my heart. I need to love those that I care about and those that I don’t the same. I need to practice patience, love, and acceptance. How can I speak light, if I let the enemy run my mouth? I love to share the moments when God speaks to me. It’s like “My Testimony” Once I got to work, I was playing on my phone (shhhh) and I found this quite from Joyce Meyer (If you do not know who she is…she is a famous preacher who speaks light…all the time!) Well her quote read as follows: “Choose to hear the voice of God and to think about the things He says, not the things the enemy says.” So what I got from that…Speak Light. What I mean when I say Speak Light is simple. Show the heart of God in my words. Show Love. Only. Find the entire article for Joyce Meyer here: http://www.joycemeyer.org/Articles/Devotional.aspx?utm_content=sf3176561&utm_medium=spredfast&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=Joyce+Meyer+Ministries&sf3176561=1 Then of course I came to my desk. Continuing to think about how to Speak Light and show love. I opened my amazing cards…and what does God have to say to me through them today you ask? Well this: There are as many ways to God as there are people, but the end result must be a deep inner peace that has no prejudice, judgment, or hate. It is a place where you have no negative thoughts, no desire to condemn, or use anger, no fear. Search for that way today using whatever method you deem necessary. Love. On the back of the card it has an Affirmation that says this: “I’m beginning to identify with the true sense of our existence here on planet earth. If to love will bring me that dep inner peace, then I choose to love. I catch myself whenever I have a negative thought about anyone and quickly choose to not condemn. By my actions I’m doing my party in making this earth the place that is meant to be. “ So what have I gathered from all of this…I need to show love. Endless, unconditional, absolute. Love.